Life is a rollercoaster. There are the ups, downs, dramatic falls and tall heights. I, as of right now, am at a huge fall on my rollercoaster. And it feels like this fall is going to be a long one. Let me start from the beginning.
Not long ago, I began to hang out with the wrong friend group; the druggies, alcohol lovers and emos. I did so for a specific reason; So many rumors were going around. Recently, the rumors were so bad, I was embarrassed to even show my face at school. Some of the (not true) rumors were: 1. I was pregnant 2. I got laid 3. I snorted cocaine. These rumors were all not true, but people still thought they were and took my rumors to heart. People recently have been walking up to me asking who I “f**ked” and who I “snorted” with. People were snorting the air as I walked by them, as a joke, and people were also flipping me off as they drove by on the school buses and their own cars. I was so mad at whoever spread those rumors. I tried to figure out who it was, but I just couldn’t find who it was. Once the rumors got bad, I would go home and cry every night.
Last week, my “only friends” peer pressured me so hard into vaping, that I felt like I didn’t have a choice. I thought to myself, “I know it’s wrong, but maybe people will now see me and notice me.” I was wrong. I used it once three days ago, and I hated it. But I felt like the only way to keep the last few friends I had left, I had to at least keep it in my bag so it seemed like I was using it. I hated myself for even doing it that one time, let alone having it in my possession at all in the first place.
Today, I got in-school-suspended for two days, I have to do ten hours of community service and eight hours of a class to help me. I took it all very well with the principle, being very open to the situation and kind and cooperative. They were very impressed with my responsibility of the matter, but also very disappointed with my decision, which I totally agree.
I had a talk with my Mom and am seeing what the next steps will be. I, for one, think I deserve punishment. Though, I think I have learned from my mistake and Know I will NEVER touch a gross substance ever again. I have never been more disappointed and upset with myself in my life. I know I am not happy and think I never will be.
Please know if you are asked or temped to vaporize, do not do it. It is gross and bad for your health.